week 13: Class Discussion Q3

A topic that really caught my attention was that of Workplace Relationships and I think I liked this topic was because I know exactly what they are talking about. Like the book said, you do not get to choose your co workers, you are all put there to complete a task but at the same time you tend to form a relationship with these people because you are with them for 8-10 hours a day.   I worked at a job where we were all really close within our department and we all had a lot in common and those friendships moved outside of the workplace but I have also worked in situations where I worked well with people but I would never hang out or form a close relationship with them outside of work. Also I did realize that we only conversed and formed relationships with the people in our depts and never people up in higher level positions. I guess its just natural for people to stay within their own area of a company because we all have the same task at hand.

Week 13: Class Discussion Q2

I just had this conversation with my husband the other day about how technology is going and what it does for communication. My son is 15 months but by already knows how to use my phone and by the time he is old enough to have a phone conversation, know one will actually talk to each other it will all be through text, IM, email, Ect. With all this technology they do have downfalls.
Cell Phones, I am the first to admit that I would be lost without my cell phone, it does everything for me. It is my phone, gps, internet, media, ect but at the same time they can bother me. I hate when you are trying to have a conversation with someone and they cant put their phone down and constantly texting people. Or if you are in a restaurant or a small place and people are talking really loud about personal issues and expect you not to listen, trust me I don’t want to hear it.
Answering Machines, I don’t have issues with answering machines and think that they can be very useful. I just don’t like when people don’t leave contact information for me to call them back.
Conference Calls, these are great in the work environment because it helps everyone get together and have meetings when you cant all be together. The only thing that bothers me is when people keep interrupting and wont stop talking, you need to realize multiple people are listening.
Faxes can be a great way to transmit information to others, but can be dangerous because you don’t really know who is on the receiving end of those documents and that can be scary.
As for timing your communication, I do think that is why texting and email has become so popular. I know I text everyone first because I want to make sure that they are in a situation to talk before I call and interrupt them. Then even if they are in an area they cant talk they may still be able to answer questions, ect.
I do think these new technologies are great but of course you do need to use etiquette and not abuse them.

Week 13: Class Discussion Q1

There are so many organizations in every town. Some are local organizations and some are large chain organizations. I do believe that they are all tied to the environment because they all have something to offer for different people. If you talk about a local farmers market, they are providing people fresh local grown product and we are helping to support our local community but prices may be higher. But on the other hand you have chain grocery stores who offer the same type of product but it is from where ever they can get it at a good price to give others a lower price on it. Both in both situations these organizations have something to offer the community.
Any college or University play a big role in the community because they are not only offering a place to educate people but it brings people from other communities into that town and helps local businesses grow and brings in revenue. Sierra College and Sac State are both considered “commuter” colleges and people from other cities spend most of their day on or around campus in that area and it really does help the community but it also can have some negative aspects such as congested traffic, Loitering, college parties, ect and the community may look down on that. I do think the schools have a small obligation to to make sure students are being respectful of the community and keep things in order, yet at the same time people need to take responsibility for their own actions and by this point in life you should no right from wrong.

week 12: class discussion Q3

A topic that I found to be really interesting was that of Relationship Maintenance.  My reason for this is because I have been with my husband for over 13 years now and we got together very young (8th grade) and most people are shocked to see us still together and very happy. Most people that had a long high school relationship have long moved on but we still strive to be together and keep each other very happy. When you see the seven relationship maintenance behaviors, yes they may come off as looking easy and people may think that it isn’t difficult but when you have been in a relationship for so long it can become difficult but you need to really work at these items to make it work, especially when you have the added stress of work, school, children and just everyday life. When people ask me how come we do not fight a lot and how do we agree on things its because we use openness and task sharing a lot. First off we make sure to talk about an issue right away and are very open about how we are feeling (whether positive or negative) and we try to fix or work on that issue and down the road do a “check in” to make sure the issue is resolved. Also we task manage very well and I do think people in relationships have a hard time with this because they put the work load on one person or play the blame game. This is not effective and never works in the end. Also you really need to give each other assurance on a daily basis. Really let them know that you are there for them and committed to the relationship. Even after 13 years we still do this because who doesn’t want to be re assured that they are loved and appreciated especially with the stress of life.

Week 12: Class DIscussion Q2

When it comes to forming a relationship with a person, whether romantic or friendship, I do believe that first impression of a person very important. I am not talking just what they are wearing or how they look, even though that can play a very small part, but the first conversation. I find that if the first conversation with a person, even if its only a few words, tells me if I will get along or bond with them. If eye contact is made and the conversation is easy I can tell if I can talk to that person and get close with them because if you feel awkward from the beginning it is very hard to get past that. I do think that Duck’s theory makes sense because most people create a relationship with the people they are around in close proximity such as at work, school, churches, ect because you usually are spending a lot of time with them in those places and you can connect and already have something in common. When it comes to preinteraction cues, yes most people are drawn to someone who is similar. If you see someone dressed in all black with crazy hair, and you are a more conservative type that wears no makeup, you usually will not feel an attraction to them and that’s because you would assume you have nothing in common. And once we do interact with someone you want to make sure that you can easily converse with that person and not feel forced. I know personally that I have been in situations where I have had to meet people and it felt totally forced and we had nothing in common so of course in that situation I would not form a bond and there for we would not hang out again.

Week 12: Class Discussion Q1

I think that the most difficult pattern to change would be submissive symmetry. I think it would be most difficult to change because usually in this case both parties have a hard time committing or taking charge so you will just go in circles. In complementary pattern at least one party is very able to make a decision and in competitive symmetry even though both parties want it their way, they still can make decisions. I do think that in a relationship competitive symmetry can be very damaging because even though you are both very quick to make decisions or you are both wanting to win at the same time and typically know one wants to back down or compromise with the other. This causes a lot of stress for people and you even see it in the work environment and it you are not willing to see eye to eye then you will just cause stress and it will wear on you. When the example is used of parent and child in the complementary pattern, yes I do believe it works really well and you are teaching your child but when it comes to two adults I think it can cause lower self esteem for the person in the one-down role. The person in the one-up role is always in charge and telling the other what to do but they are not giving them a say so. It can cause the person in the one-down role to become very quiet as well as reliant on the other person and will not know when to stand up for themselves.
I think that all the different patterns can have their positives and negatives in different situations and I do feel that most people fall into one of these patterns.