week 12: class discussion Q3

A topic that I found to be really interesting was that of Relationship Maintenance.  My reason for this is because I have been with my husband for over 13 years now and we got together very young (8th grade) and most people are shocked to see us still together and very happy. Most people that had a long high school relationship have long moved on but we still strive to be together and keep each other very happy. When you see the seven relationship maintenance behaviors, yes they may come off as looking easy and people may think that it isn’t difficult but when you have been in a relationship for so long it can become difficult but you need to really work at these items to make it work, especially when you have the added stress of work, school, children and just everyday life. When people ask me how come we do not fight a lot and how do we agree on things its because we use openness and task sharing a lot. First off we make sure to talk about an issue right away and are very open about how we are feeling (whether positive or negative) and we try to fix or work on that issue and down the road do a “check in” to make sure the issue is resolved. Also we task manage very well and I do think people in relationships have a hard time with this because they put the work load on one person or play the blame game. This is not effective and never works in the end. Also you really need to give each other assurance on a daily basis. Really let them know that you are there for them and committed to the relationship. Even after 13 years we still do this because who doesn’t want to be re assured that they are loved and appreciated especially with the stress of life.